Finally the Nationals Badminton season has ended. Phew.. I have been looking forward to end this crazy roller-coaster ride. It has somewhat tossed my life upside down. We ended up in 4th place, having lost to ACSI this afternoon 1-4.

Overall, I am still pretty sad with the conclusion of my role in the team. Guess I have just simply been a fringe player in the team having just played 2 matches out of possible 9 :(

The happy part is that i played pretty well against ACSI this afternoon. It was an all indon doubles match. Somehow it can be said to be a match between Medan and West Java. We played ACSI best doubles, Kalvin and Rheza. :) Although we didnt win, i think that i have put up a very good fight. So it wasn't very disappointing after all. We started of playing very poorly. We lost 21-9 in the first set. In the second set, we gained our momentum and played with awesome synchrony. By the time of interval, we were leading 11-8. We kept on winning points by points til we led them by 19-13. I guess we were getting very excited and started to let our guard down, knowing that we were just 2 points away from winning the set and hence rubber set. But our opponents kept their cool and gained 8 consecutive points from us who finally won 21-19.

Well, I guess thats what make them excellent player. They are able to keep cool even though they are in an extremely pressure situation. They are so experience that they can play crucial points with fantastic composure. Thats basically what I lack of for sure. Anyway, I am happy that somewhat i have fulfilled my own promise that i would play the best game i have ever played in my life. Oh well, though the score was not that cool, but i think i have done a great job; being able to produce such a surprise game to everyone :)

It was quite irritating too, knowing that my smashes couldn't penetrate their defenses for almost all the time :( I really enjoyed that match and I still can't get it out of my head now. I am very proud of myself :D :D

And yeah. One sad thing about today is that I missed the blood donation drive at school. I have donating twice so far and looking forward to the third time.

Uh.. I shall list out the result from the preliminary rounds to the 3rd/4th placing.

PRELIMINARY ROUNDS:
ACJC 5-0 NJC
ACJC 4-1 NYJC
ACJC 4-1 PJC
ACJC 4-1 MJC

QUARTER FINALS:
ACJC 3-2 AJC
ACJC 5-0 HCI
ACJC 0-5 RI(JC)

SEMIFINAL:
ACJC 0-5 JJC

3rd/4th PLACING:
ACJC 1-4 ACS(IB)

I am looking forward to team farewell dinner next Friday at Ritz Carlton Hotel! YEAH!!!!

CHeers!

Well, even the most tempestuous storm will abate one day. So does the rumblings in my heart, it is pretty much unheard of now. The fire will soon die out if no firewood is added at the crucial times.

Newly introduced species of plant may not survive or grow well in certain environment, no matter how religiously you water and fertilize it. While other existing plants are more guaranteed to bear fruits even if they are not watered and fertilized as much.

There is a time to start and you must realize when to stop.
Its time to give up. I am going to officially tell myself to give up fighting for the main 7 spot. There is no more point in pushing myself further when i know that it wont make any more difference. All the efforts that i have put ends here. phew.. i has been an arduous 5 months i believe.

Honestly, over the 5 months i had placed badminton as my top priority, over studies and socializing. Think about it, giving 100% in every training is not easy and you will surely feel damn exhausted after that, to the point that it will compromise your mental strength to study in the evening. I have religiously give up my Saturday for training and sunday to keep up with school work as much as possible. I even went on to decline going on holiday, recently, over the weekend with my parents just to stay back for training knowing that there's still a chance for me; although i am very certain that i have immensely disappointed them.

It makes me think, whether i have to consider the process or consider the end result. The process is surely not very disappointing, I am certain that i have improved pretty much. But the end result is horrifyingly disappointing. I started the campaign with high confidence that i will at least be playing around 4 or 5 matches, but in the end only 1 so far. 3 times i had been promised and 3 times i had been let down. This afternoon was the last straw and I am going to give up. This is very disappointing to me. Knowing that whenever I was about to lose my hope, they gave me new hopes. New hope to be my new motivation to strive further. 3 times. So its really heart-breaking to be continually given hope and losing hope for 3 times. Its just too difficult to come in terms with.

Jealousy becomes selfishness.
Selfishness becomes impatience.
Impatience becomes angst.
Angst becomes despair.
Despair marks the end of everything.

Now its time to shift the gear back to studies, and gymming. My studies has been churned upside down inside out over the time. Its time to catch up with everything and focus on mid-year exams, should be take it if we dont qualify for finals.

There’s a storm raging deep in my soul.
There’s a howling wind that I just can’t control.
There’s a fire inside me I can’t explain.
Am I in too deep or should I swim to the shore?

I gotta to blow this away.

This is an emo post.. phew..
Feels a little bit better now. :)

I love today!

Rendezvous, celebration, simply having great time. Met my mummy and daddy again today. :) Been missing them like crazy all the while. Not many things have change, every thing is still the same old lovely past. :) and uh.. got my share of extra allowance too, which made my day even better. I have been running pretty low in cash lately. Another thing that I like about today is that, I ate out throughout the day. I haven't been eating much other than school canteen and hostel food for some time. We went to eat tortoise, black chicken, meatball soup and blah blah blah.. :D :D

Perhaps there will be a change in plan for my June holiday. I may be heading to Sydney for real this time. :) Really hope that the plan go through smoothly. I have been looking to visit Sydney. I can recall that we have canceled our visit to Sydney for about 3 or 4 times. Oh well, statistics does not bode well. Shall do my homework by researching the relevant documents for australian visa application. :)

On the way home today, I pondered quite a lot of stuff and seems like I have found a few satisfactory answers to my personal problems. Such as: "How far should you go in the name of dreams or rather ambitions?" and "How far do you have to dwell in past memories?"

"How far should you go in the name of ambitions?" Well, my answer will still be until you achieve what you want. But I have to realize that not all ambitions are worth achieving 'no matter what it takes'. In due time, one must realize whether he has or has not made 'satisfactory' progress. Currently, my ambition would be to break into the first 7 in the badminton team. However, as time goes on, It is becoming a somewhat more and more far-fetched dream. I realize that 6 or 7 months of intensive training can't really make a superstar. There are many more things, other than hard-work, that i need to have. Competitive experience, mental strength and ability to read the game are some of the departments that i lack of compared to other more seasoned player. Truthfully, I am a somewhat naive player in the court. Although I may not entirely achieve what i have been dreaming of, the journey is really an eye-opening and i am very grateful to have gone through it. The learning process has made me a better player and man as a whole! :D :D

There is another dream and I won't let it go no more. :D Aja AJa FIGHTING!!

And uh.... today is mother's day! I am pretty contented with myself for remembering to wish my wife happy mother's day! hahahaha! ;p

I LOVE MY MUMMY AND DADDY!

Things will surely get better and better over the time!
Adios!

Its long weekend.. But still, it seems so short. Time flies rapidly. In a glimpse of an eye, its Saturday evening already. Uh.. I think I need to get a hair cut soon. Its getting really thick and annoying. :( But I dont feel like going when there is no one to accompany, everyone has their own agenda to do this evening. Phew.. :(

Ah yea! We have played our first two Nationals games, won 5-0 on NJC and won 4-1 on NYJC. Gotta keep the momentum going for the next to games this week. We gonna be playing PJC and MJC on Monday and Wednesday respectively. Its really getting me anxious, anxious because I may not be able to break through the ranks.. :( Oh well, as a matter of fact there horse is already available to set me running and fight, but the saddle doesn't really suit me. At least thats what according to them; that someone else has a more suitable ass to sit more comfortably on it, rather than my ass. :( Yea, guess thats the right analogy for my situation here. I am doing whatever I can right now, such as adapting my ass onto the saddle and stuff... :) They say that we have to protect the small ray of light at the end of the tunnel at any cost.

But there are always margin of errors to your plan. Nothing can be done about it, just try to minimize the severity of the possible errors. :)

A little bit burned out here. This boy is breaking down.. hahaha! Guess not that severe actually. :) Just feeling lethargic and fatigued. There is another thing that I am very certain of, I AM ENTHRALLED. Gotta do something about this amazing emotion.

And uh.. my parents are coming over next Tuesday for a week. I think I am such a loser, knowing that I would be only be able to see them for a day in that one-week period. Well, they invited me to cruise along with them over the weekend, which I decline. Well, I think I should put Nationals competition as the first priority, shouldn't I?

But guess their visit is somewhat timely, I am in need of cash injection now. hahaha :)

Adios!
Cheers!! :)